Hell

is when you get exactly what you want. No desire is left unmet, no expectation unfulfilled. You call the shots, you make the rules, and you determine the entirety of how your life ends up.

But that sounds pretty good. So why is it hell?

Because you remove the possibility of the unexpected. The unforeseen and unplanned for is where we learn about the harsh but beautiful reality of the world. A photograph without contrast is white, and a painting with every color is black.

Not everything will go as planned. There will be stumbles and you will fall out of rhythm. In these moments is the chance for grace.

Rejecting what you did not intend is isolation from the source.

Not as good as it could be

Writing a book is hard, but not for the reasons you think. Words come fairly easy for me, and the time to write, though sometimes scarce, is easy to create than you’d think.

What’s hard is recognizing the book will never be complete. There will always be more to say (especially when writing I biographical essay, as I am). And there will always be a better way to say what I choose to say. No matter what shape the book takes when finished, it could always be better.

But who’s the “perfect” for? Can the reader only gain something from your book if it’s perfect? Or is the perfect for you, because you’re afraid of what they’ll say if it isn’t as good as it could be?

If my book has a purpose and my prose carries a sentiment, it may just be good enough.

Perfect is for me, and it’s limiting.

Good enough is for my readers, and it creates possibility.

What I’m grateful for

Animals
Baseball
Cartoons
Dragon flies
Entropy
Faith
Grounding
Health Indigenous People
Jesuits
Kindness of others
Lemma family!
Mission
New Things
Ocean
Prayer
Quality time
Running
Students 🙂
Time
Understanding
Vultures
Writing
X-Ray technology
Yesterday
Zoology

Wake up

We are unique in our awareness. No other being on earth can see the world like we see it. Nothing else can realize it’s place in the grandeur that is creation.

But this awareness is a choice. In every moment we have a choice between awareness and ignorance, between waking up and staying asleep.

I’m ignorant of many things. I’m trying to wake up. Not to be “woke” but to be “awake.”

There’s freedom in this choice. I will use my freedom to choose awareness, paying attention, and presence, here and now. I can’t afford the alternative, and neither can those I seek to serve.