Where you are

God has blessed
what you haven’t seen
yet—He just needs
more time
to get things ready
for you
there.

Wildfires

One day I will be dead
and it won’t bother anyone.
Family and friends will care
but after they’re gone?
Will my great grandkids
celebrate my work ethic
and my Invisalign smile?
Will they scroll through 100 years
of Instagram posts
to see who I loved
or will I be a fleeting thought
too vague to ignite conversation?
And will my great great grandkids—
forget it. Who thinks about
their great great grandparents?
What they cooked?
How they danced together?
How they sipped their whiskey? Their wine?
These legendary love stories
remain untold after a generation,
too long to write down
and too profound to be recited
with justice.
One day they died
and their lives became stories
we forgot to remember.
I hope they will remember me,
but this is a selfish hope.
Fire turns wood to ash
so a new forest can grow.
I am a mighty oak and a baby fern.
We are the forest
of forgotten wildfires.

The Bible in a Verse

There’s a verse in Isaiah
that summarizes the entirety
of sacred scripture in a comma
followed by four words:
      , and I love you

Personally, I think the comma stands
For every time we’ve failed as humans. 
God gives us everything but still we fall,
scraped knee symphony, no applause.
      Still He waits to catch us.

And gives me hope, like
there’s more to my story
than the mess in front of me.
One day things may work out.
      And there will always be tomorrow.

God in the first person reminds me
that I am, too. But if God Is then why
is He so hard to find? Sunglasses get lost
on my head and my phone in my hand.
      Show me where You really are.

Writing a verse about God’s love
seems lightbulb watt trivial—good luck
explaining lumens to a pickup truck.
Sometimes I get it, most of the time
      I’m stuck in my head, lights out.

Then there’s You, or is it Me,
or is it all of us because none of us
have the guts to let our hearts be free?
Hold tight to personal identity as you
      fade away in existential bliss.

Because you are precious in my eyes
and honored, and I love you.
Maybe one day I’ll let myself
be loved by God. Until then
      I’ll pretend everything is fine.

The day I met you

On August concrete outside
the City Line Target I saw you,
an out-of-place Latina, arms full
of lightbulbs, conditioner,
nail polish, and a printer.

The first shuttle was almost full
so I waited for the next one.
It was one of those days where
patience came easy and there
was nothing on the schedule.

Then divine inspiration filled my sails
and I was struck with an all-consuming
sense of purpose, so I asked if I could help.
You had it covered but obliged.
We sat together on the bus.

I carried your printer across campus
and you had Rodney sign me in.
It wouldn’t be hard to set up
but I insisted. Plus, I wanted to know
why your hat said Life is Good.

“I got it at Ron Jon Surf Shop.
It reminds me of home.”
I asked why you came to Philly
and you said something about
opportunity, or maybe identity.

You’d been on campus for a week
but hadn’t seen much of Philly,
only the highlights. You invited me
to play soccer on Sweeney Field
and gave me your number.

“Camille was my babysitter’s name,
you know. She was like my grandma.”
I was never much of a pickup artist.
I’m still not but will never need to be
because the grandma line did the trick.

You smiled so big that for a second I forgot
what was real and what was too good
to be true. I saw the earth in your eyes,
the future in brown hair falling on soft skin.
I wasn’t falling for you when we first met

but something about you made me forget
everything I once knew. It was you, etching
your Brazilian song in my lily-white heart,
The printer girl, traveler of the world,
stepping into my world and turning it

upside down, silencing my soul’s cries
for help. I wasn’t looking for love
but you found me. I wasn’t looking
for a relationship but God always
gives you what you need

You are the ink in my heart’s tray.
Without you I’d be a clunky black box,
a paper weight and one colossal waste of space
that turns on but never connects nor makes
because a printer can’t print without

that which blots the page. One day white pages
would transform into love poems like this one
but better. Imagine the stories we could write
together, side by side, starting as best friends
and staying best friends till the end.

You made me believe that even little kids
who didn’t have friends might find love,
and if that’s not proof of God then I’d lose
hope in things above. But you gave me hope.
You are my hope, a wellspring of embraces

I never knew I needed, a Polaroid wall
of memories I never knew I wanted,
an adventure-loving, dog-hugging,
dumpling-making, sweater-wearing
wonder woman, growing to love herself

and this fool more every day. You are
the gift I never asked for and will never
deserve. All I can do now is give thanks
and honor you, meu fedido, for loving me.
I promise to always love you too.