Paved Over Graves

My grandmother died on May 1st. Sometimes I really miss her. Other times days go by and I don’t think of her once. I’ve found this to be a common trend in America—we are too busy to properly honor those who died and too preoccupied to do the inner work to deal with loss. Instead, we accept death but never assimilate it. We bandage wounds already festered.

I took a course called Death and Afterlife in Chinese Traditions last fall. Fresh out of graduate school, Dr. Aaron Reich was one of the best professors I ever had. I learned about Chinese burial customs and how nearly everybody in the Chinese tradition honored their ancestors. With plaques inside homes and names engraved in community ancestral halls, deceased loved ones weren’t forgotten like they are here. They came back—no, were brought back—to life every day.

Maybe our history as a nation has woven this death-denying, quick-to-forget subconscious. America used to belong to native peoples. Then we massacred them. A generation later and they were forgotten. We paved over their graves and desecrated their sacred lands. Now we are taught genocide only happened during World War II. It’s easier to forget our forebears who killed millions of native people than to honor them; that would be too painful.

Instead we drive over bones and dried blood, never remembering where we came from. And so it will be for us … unless we own our ugliness and begin to honor those who made us.

Beyond Contemplation

The best moments in my life are beyond contemplation.

Today I decided against running immediately after waking up, as I usually do. I chose to run around 11:00 am instead. After thinking about it all morning, 11 o’clock came and I tried to reason myself out of it, listing all the reasons another rest day would benefit me in the long run. Luckily, I told myself to shut up, laced up my shoes, and crushed a run even though I was feeling lousy. It was my fastest run so far summer.

After I lifted around 1:00 pm, it was time to take a shower. I’ve pushed myself to take more cold showers this summer because of their health benefits. I also feel fantastic every time I step out of one. However, my brain isn’t hardwired to endure momentary suffering for delayed results. My mind always tries to get me too take a comfortable, warm shower instead. Today, I didn’t let it. I turned the faucet right and jumped in. I did not give in.

While showering, I had a few ideas about my soon-to-be post graduate life that never crossed my mind before. These ideas might change the course of my life forever. Or the might not. I never would’ve known had I not moved beyond overthinking and into action.

Don’t spend your life in contemplation. Be a doer. Be somebody who doesn’t hesitate to do what they know they ought to do. Move in the direction of your fears and face them head on. You can always course correct later.

Hoka Hey!

Paul has a dog and his name is Cola. Cola usually wears an electric collar that shocks him if he goes beyond the property line. Today Paul and I wanted to take Cola for a walk, so we took off his collar and strapped up his harness and leash.

As we approached the boundary, Cola froze. This is where he usually gets hurt. I saw a doubt and uncertainty quell up inside him as he feared for his protection. Why would his owner want him to get hurt? But this is a normal reaction when we face the unknown, the seemingly impenetrable. It’s up to us to choose how we are going to respond.

After a moment’s hesitation, Cola chose to run full-on towards the once killer force.

If he could speak human, I believe he would’ve said, “Hoka Hey!”

Made famous by Crazy Horse, the Lakota war leader, Hoka Hey is a native American battle cry. “Hoka Hey!” Crazy Horse would yell as he led his troops into battle, followed by, “Today is a good day to die!” Or so the legend goes.

But I’ve heard Hoka Hey doesn’t translate to Today is a good day to die. Rather, it better translates to “advance without fear.” That is a pretty revolutionary way to live.

Advance without fear. Recognize today may be the last. Give it everything you have.

Hoka Hey.

Tesla Forever

Running through Lower Merion this morning I saw at least four Teslas. For those of you living under a rock for the past decade, Teslas are fully electric cars that use no fossil fuels. Unfortunately, they are expensive and come with limitations (hard to find charging stations, for one).

With the state of our climate worsening by the day, it won’t be long until there’s a global push to halt anything that pollutes and warms our atmosphere. My generation will be at the forefront of that. But that has me thinking, should those few who can afford Teslas be morally or legally obligated to buy one? Or will the Ferraris and Rolls-Royces of the world start making a push towards electric, too?

There’s little doubt that one day electric cars will be the only cars on the road. But how will we get there? Probably by people who can afford to make a difference making a difference.

What’s stopping us from doing the same with our daily choices?

Wine Slushies

Driving through rural Pennsylvania I passed a number of wineries (the Perkiomen Valley is right up there with Napa, didn’t you hear?) Some were tucked behind a forrest, sure to have an alluring and unique atmosphere built for the snobbiest of wine connoisseurs. Others, though, were along the side of the main road and stood tall, accepting dirt and soot that misted from passing traffic. Most of these vineyards had ornate signs to identify themselves. One had many signs, or rather, billboards in front of their grapes. There was one sign that caught my eye:

“WINE SLUSHIES”

How could a winery have such a provocative sign on their property? Wineries are inherently prestigious, expensive, and white collar locales. A wine slushy is so left field that it could ruin the winery brand in one instant. But then again, every meaningful idea has been against the grain. Nobody wanted automobiles, they wanted faster horses. And I imagine people wanted a better mail system—very few envisioned texting.

It occurred to me that this could either be the greatest marketing strategy ever devised or the worst. It could lower the barrier to entry of wineries, allowing a different demographic in the doors, or it could backfire and ruin the wine-snob brand. Overall, it seems like something worth trying. Fear of change has spoiled many good ideas in the past. Hopefully not this one.

Drink up!

Put on the New Self

I heard a reading at mass today from Saint Paul. It read: “Stop lying to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed, for knowledge, in the image of its creator.” (Colossians 3:9-10)

This speaks to what it means to be a human being, that is, constantly changing who you are. You aren’t the same person you were last year, let alone last night. Friends and family members often treat us as stagnant beings, thinking we haven’t changed since their last encounter with us.

But think about it biologically. Every time you move your bowels you lose tens of millions of microorganisms from your microbiome that have lived in you for days. The argument could be made that those organisms are a part of you because without them you couldn’t survive—they digest, metabolize, and assimilate your food. You are, quite literally, a different person after your morning dump. And you’ll never be the same again.

Maybe instead of wishing we could hold onto who we were we could better accept and embrace the New Self who is inevitably on the way. The only constant in our world is that everything changes, including you and I. I reckon we would be happier people if we treated others as New.

If we allow ourselves to be renewed with knowledge of what is rather than what we would like to be, that would be a pretty good start.

Text and Drive Fast!

Looking for a way to get more done? To be more productive? To achieve more in less time and maximize the 24 hours in the day? You should try driving fast while texting! Make sure to tailgate so you don’t lose an inch. If somebody is taking their time, cut them off! They clearly don’t value productivity. Then when you get to your location, you can sit in your car for 5 more minutes, just to check what you couldn’t get to while on the road.

With this fool-proof strategy, you’ll never waste another minute of your life. You will be guaranteed success. The odds of you doing something you’ll regret for the rest of your life is very low and the reward—reaching your destination 30 seconds faster—is well worth the risk.

Live on the edge and be more dangerous! What else is life for?

Every Tool is a Hammer?

After 8 weeks of the wettest June and July in Philadelphia history, my girlfriend’s front lawn was still unmoved. Grass and weeds rose to 2 feet about the ground. I decided to take matters into my own hands with my trust electric weed whacker, gifted to me by my grandparents (they no longer needed it). So I took the shield off and weed whacked all the way through…about five square feet. The battery wasn’t very powerful.

Needless to say, this method was ineffective. Luckily my dad had a spare push mower in the shed (that’s right, old school), so I gave that a shot this morning. It worked well until I hit a branch. There were only about 100 branches, and I had to go over each strip in both directions, so the 25 square foot front lawn only took me 40 minutes. Not much better.

What did I learn from this? Well, as Adam Savage (the guy from Myth Busters) says, “Every tool is a hammer.” A hammer probably would’ve worked better than both of my lawn mowing tools.

Next time I’ll choose the right tool for the job.

Broken Bottles, Open Minds

I recently discovered my love for glass water bottles. It’s obvious once you begin this habit: glass makes water taste better. No placebo or conspiracy. It’s a fact. The only problem with a glass water bottle is if it drops, it won’t dent or scratch. It will break into a hundred pieces. And somebody has to clean it up (it’s you).

This happened twice in the past month.

You’d think this would deter me from buying another one. But I really like drinking out of a glass bottle. I don’t want to be handicapped by only drinking out of metal or—God forbid—plastic for the next 100 years. So I better get good at it soon. Trial by fire.

You’d think this trend of breaking fragile object would lead me to get a case for my brand new iPhone 8. Haven’t decided on that one yet. Some things must be handled with care, like a warrior yielding his sword, or a police officer carrying his gun.

We have to get better at caring for the things that matter to us.

Governor Begone!

David Goggins opened my mind to a new idea in his book: the governor. Goggins explained how older cars used to have what was called a “governor” on their engines. This device would prevent the car from going above a certain speed, thereby keeping everything running smoothly. But the good news for those who like to push the limits? The governor can be removed, allowing the car to really go fast.

Goggins’ point was that we all have governors on our minds. We have this built in function that keeps us from reaching our genetic potential. It’s there so we don’t get hurt, but it’s holding us back. So if we really want to be great we gotta get rid of that governor.

So we can go fast.

And leave no stone unturned.