Maybe More Isn’t Better

The whiteboard in the library read:

Question of the Week:

If you had to give up all of your possessions but one, what would you keep?

I told the librarian, Martha, she was getting to philosophical on me. This was a question that required more thought than the previous ones. I took the hour before recording my answer—

My journal

I find that the less happy I am, the more I desire things. Conversely, the more happy I am, the less I need. Many sages throughout history have mirrored this sentiment. Many of my influences of late have as well, people like Mike Posner, Tim Ferriss, B.J. Miller, Aubrey Marcus, Thomas Aquinas, and David Goggins. Things don’t make you happy. Being you is joy enough.

So why a journal? Because I can find a computer, a phone, clothes, and my favorite books again, but I can’t recreate my thoughts. I need something to remind me of who I was and who I’ve become, as well as something to sketch out a plan of where to go next. If I lost all my possessions, I believe a journal with a few empty pages would be enough to remember what this life is really about.

God doesn’t change

I’m in a course titled “Philosophy of God in Aquinas.” We are working through the Summa Contra Gentiles, supposedly written to be a handbook for Catholic missionaries. Slowly but surely, we’re dissecting Aquinas’ claims about the existence of God and, now, the qualities of God. The past few classes, we’ve been talking about the eternality of God.

Eternality is a difficult concept. It doesn’t mean everlasting, which is to have no beginning and no end. And it doesn’t mean atemporal—to exist outside of time. Rather, to be eternal means to have life and experience the fullness of reality at every moment, or something like that. Because each moment is a full expression of existence, there would be no such notion of past or present. Only now. And if there is only now in existence, there can be no change in that being, for change requires time. Therefore, God does not change.

If you didn’t understand that, don’t sweat it. Neither do I.

But let’s pretend for a second we understand that God exists, is eternal, and doesn’t change. If God doesn’t change, then why the hell do we ask God for stuff? Petitionary prayer is old as dirt, and sometimes miracles happen seemingly as a result of specific prayers. But if God won’t change God’s mind, what do the prayers really do? Do they do anything?

Aquinas argues yes, they do matter. They matter because God has always known what you’re going to pray for. God always aligned reality in such a way that your choice to freely pray and petition may change your earthly future. God has, therefore, already designed different worlds—or is currently designing different worlds?—where you get what you ask for and you don’t get what you ask for. Your asking may just make the difference.

I don’t know what I just typed. It doesn’t make much sense yet, but one day it might. I know that I shouldn’t stop praying anytime soon.