Don’t forget about Lemma
I ran by Saint Joe’s today. I turned into campus and walked around the track, the same track I made countless memories on. Running, stretching, sweating, laughing, cheering, supporting, striding, giving, receiving, loving….
Running track for 4 years molded me into a lead, a captain. On the team, everybody called me “Lemma;” calling me “Aaron” was an oddity. I began to identify with Lemma because he had certain admirable traits.
He was ferocious, dedicated, and determined. He always looked out for his teammates, supporting them no matter what beef was present. Others looked for him to lead them around the track at the right pace. They looked for his leadership.
Lemma did things whether he felt like it or not.
During quarantine I’ve struggled to balance responsibility with self forgiveness. I’ve been easy on myself because I experienced so much loss–or so I told myself. I haven’t been holding myself accountable because I’ve been operating as Aaron. Plus, I’m more than whatever I identify as because there’s no depth to Who I Am.
That’s all bullshit. I was Lemma once and I loved being him. There’s no reason I can’t tap into who I was to create the ideal of who I want to be. I want to be a leader who holds myself accountable and does the hard things.
Aaron is necessary. But don’t forget about Lemma. It’s time to start embracing both.