If I loved myself

What would I do? If you loved yourself, what would you do?

Since graduation, the days have seemed unproductive. Maybe I need a short break from work, or maybe I need a better schedule. Most likely it’s both.

In Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life, he shares perhaps the most helpful question you could ask to get your life back on track. And it’s simple: What could I do today to make life better? Then do that thing today. Then ask again tomorrow and do that thing tomorrow. Soon you’ll be miles ahead of where you are now.

What if we combined these two questions? How much could life change if each day we asked: If I loved myself, what would I do today to make life better?

Well, I know how I’m going to get back on track. Will you join me?

If There Is Love

Citizen Cope is an underrated artist. He makes more than music–he makes feelings. His song If There Is Love was stuck in my head today. The chorus goes like this: “If there is love, I just want to have something to do with it.”

Today’s homily was about love, too. Our parish priest (and my friend) Fr. Francesco was explaining God’s love. We are imperfect and we mess up. It’s hard for us to love God or others, but God loves us anyways. Unconditionally.

That’s a powerful message, but I keep thinking the Church is missing something when it comes to love. The two main commandments are to love God and love your neighbor. But what about loving yourself?

People think self love is narcissistic and selfish. That’s not true. When you love yourself, truly and deeply and unconditionally, it’s all you need. Your love becomes self-fulfilling; in no time, if your love is overflowing, you have no choice but to share it with others. That includes God.

If you love others without loving yourself, your love will run dry. You can’t sustain it, or at least I never could. Loving yourself is the key to loving others. Period.

Lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’m thinking my life’s mission may have to do with spreading this message far and wide: Love Yourself First, then Love Others. If there is love within you, love will flow from you.

Don’t Forget to Love Yourself

Imagine how different the world would be if Jesus said “Love your neighbor AND yourself” instead of “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus never told us to love ourselves, so many people don’t. Actually, most people hate themselves because of this omission—they are their own worst enemy, greatest adversary, and staunchest critic. They will never be good enough for themselves. They are hard on themselves to the point of self-destruction, and their inner world is full of hateful, degrading comments. And then those who say they love themselves are the most nihilistic of them all, refusing to believe any ideology but their own. They confuse self-love with a shadowing of their own reality; they cover up failures with narcissistic claims of blind acceptance and self-infatuation. They don’t really love themselves because they don’t really know themselves. All they know is a lie, and all they love is their ego’s status in the world.

To love yourself means to love yourself. Truly and deeply. To look yourself in the mirror and see your flaws, to stare into the depth of your soul and recognize your shortcomings and then to love yourself anyways. If you don’t learn how to love yourself, how on earth can you love another with the proper attention they deserve? How could you possibly share love with another if you haven’t planted and harvested any love of your own? Why did Jesus miss this?

Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe we have to read in between the lines. Perhaps, even, between two perpendicular lines. Lines with love between them.

Maybe.