How Not to Worry

Before I give away my secrets, I need you to know that I’ve had a lot of stressful, worrisome situations in the first 22 years of my life. I’ve worked in a fast paced restaurant and endured 14 hour days working on the golf course. I’ve studied hours for Organic Chemistry exams and submitted more papers one minute before their deadlines than I can count. I race other human beings around a track and have felt the pressure of wanting to perform well for my team, my coach, and myself. I started a business as a full time student-athlete-RA-tutor-catechist while still doing my best to make time for my girlfriend and family.

Stress, pressure, existential crises, nervous breakdowns, deep sadness…I’ve felt it all. I’ve lived it. But now things are different. When a challenge or obstacle is in my way, I remind myself of two things that help me reframe my situation and put things in perspective.

Here’s my 1 – 2 punch for stopping worry before it enters my being:

  1. Remember how much you’ve accomplished. You’ve made it through a lot to get here. You can handle this. You got this.
  2. You’re going to die. One day, you stop breathing and your days as a human being will be over. Whatever you’re up against surely counts, but doesn’t matter. This life is too short to be take so seriously.

There’s one final step, but it’s less of a mindset shift and more of a practicality. It’s to write down everything you have to do, prioritize what must be done first, and then execute. This helps me every time, no matter the situation. Worry turns into initiative and you can begin chipping away at the obstacles, winning small victories along the way. Action beats anxiety.

But that’s it. That’s the whole story. It’s about self confidence—you will accomplish the tasks at hand because you always accomplish the tasks at hand. And it’s about not taking this life too seriously. After all, we should be enjoying our existence, not dreading it.

Today I had to wake up at 5:30 am to lift. Today I was set to squat more than I’ve ever squatted before across 5 sets. I did it. Then I had to study for 2 hours before a test I didn’t yet study for. I studied, took the test, and aced it (hopefully). Then I had to study an hour for another test I didn’t prepare for. I studied. I did well. Then I had to go on a long run. I decided to go with the distance crowd for 7.5 miles. I did it. And I didn’t worry for a second.

This method doesn’t remove stressful situations. You will still have things to worry about, but it’s your decision to worry or to take meaningful action to accomplish your mission. I hope this perspective helps you choose the latter.

Yin or Yang?

I heard a podcast today. This guy said success is only attainable if you push forward against the odds and do difficult things. Makes sense. I typically default to this way of thinking. It’s how I’ve gotten to where I am in life: hard work.

Last week I listened to another podcast where Joe Dispenza talked about quantum energy fields. He says you can enter into these fields in deep meditations and, with a clear intention and an elevated emotion, you can attract what you want towards you. And it comes. I’ve done some of his meditations and can feel what he’s talking about.

So which is it? Should I chase my dreams or attract them towards me?

On the golf course, I always told golfers to stop trying so hard. Sounds funny, but the harder you try to have a good score the worse your score will be. At track practice, my coach often reminds us to run fast, not hard. And then there’s the Daoist principle of Wu Wui, also called Trying not to Try.

But what about David Goggins, Bedros Keullian, and Ed Mylett? What about Gary Vee? Don’t I have to put the work in to get what I desire? How likely is it that it will just come to me and I will be complete?

Yeah. So probably both.

Beyond Contemplation

The best moments in my life are beyond contemplation.

Today I decided against running immediately after waking up, as I usually do. I chose to run around 11:00 am instead. After thinking about it all morning, 11 o’clock came and I tried to reason myself out of it, listing all the reasons another rest day would benefit me in the long run. Luckily, I told myself to shut up, laced up my shoes, and crushed a run even though I was feeling lousy. It was my fastest run so far summer.

After I lifted around 1:00 pm, it was time to take a shower. I’ve pushed myself to take more cold showers this summer because of their health benefits. I also feel fantastic every time I step out of one. However, my brain isn’t hardwired to endure momentary suffering for delayed results. My mind always tries to get me too take a comfortable, warm shower instead. Today, I didn’t let it. I turned the faucet right and jumped in. I did not give in.

While showering, I had a few ideas about my soon-to-be post graduate life that never crossed my mind before. These ideas might change the course of my life forever. Or the might not. I never would’ve known had I not moved beyond overthinking and into action.

Don’t spend your life in contemplation. Be a doer. Be somebody who doesn’t hesitate to do what they know they ought to do. Move in the direction of your fears and face them head on. You can always course correct later.

Governor Begone!

David Goggins opened my mind to a new idea in his book: the governor. Goggins explained how older cars used to have what was called a “governor” on their engines. This device would prevent the car from going above a certain speed, thereby keeping everything running smoothly. But the good news for those who like to push the limits? The governor can be removed, allowing the car to really go fast.

Goggins’ point was that we all have governors on our minds. We have this built in function that keeps us from reaching our genetic potential. It’s there so we don’t get hurt, but it’s holding us back. So if we really want to be great we gotta get rid of that governor.

So we can go fast.

And leave no stone unturned.

Variables of Success

Most people live average lives. They settle for the status quo, the safety-and-security model, the retire at 65 to enjoy the final years of life charade. To feel comfortable and understood they surround themselves with like-minded people who don’t challenge them or rustle any feathers. The majority would rather be adequate than grow through challenge. They are finished learning when they finish school, rare to pick up a book and learn something fresh. They don’t realize it, but this average life devolves into a mediocre existence rather quickly.

But there’s some who are the oil in the sea of water—their determination to grow far exceeds their longings for comfort and a Social Security check. Retirement doesn’t fit their stories—life is too rich and new challenges provide too much growth to ever lose enticement. We often call these challenges “hobbies,” though they are better represented by “wars:” The Battles of Man Vs. Himself.

Whatever one choses as a hobby, there is a similar blueprint in how one rises above mediocrity and becomes great. Aside from the well-known characteristics of discipline and consistency, there’s one feature I noticed yesterday: variability.

When I was in Yellowstone, my family member / friend, Eddie B (who retired from the U.S. Forest Service and a lifelong photographer), taught me how to capture a photograph. He reminded me that while adjusting the ISO, shutter speed, and f-stop, a skilled photographer will also change his or her positioning. This bolsters the chances of creating a unique and balanced shot.

I’ve been working on my short game in my back yard (that’s golf talk). I realized I could only practice my shot from 25 yards out, but that I’d be at a loss if I had to shoot from 10 yards out. If I want to be exceptional around the green, I have to start changing how far away I am from my target. I have to be adaptable with the presented variation.

I believe this concept holds up no matter the discipline. A sailor can’t only practice in smooth waters and a tennis player can’t only practice his forehand. Without variation and a welcoming of the uncomfortable (and inevitably, lots of failure), mastery will always be far away.