Past the Threshold

You know the moment—the “what did I get myself into” moment. The “this was a terrible idea” moment. The “not today” moment. It’s ubiquitous because you and I are hard wired to seek comfort.

I feel this pain of indecision every time I go to get in an ice bath. Then, every time, I turn my brain off and jump right in, up to my neck. Immediately my body curses me, wondering why I put myself through this suffering week after week. Today, I was in the tub for thirty seconds and my brain was still trying to pull me out. I actually felt my body start to make a move for the exit, but I reeled it back in and breathed deep. I’ve made it through much worse than five minutes of cold water.

Nobody fully understands the power of the human mind. Its influence is evasive yet supple, able to be changed on an instant but rock solid in neurologic programming. Many people believe that our decisions are just a complex series of electrical and chemical processes, shaped by our environments, upbringing, and the current environment. They think the brain is destined to make one decision over another.

But there’s one thing I’ve learned from my life experience: the mind can be trained.

Whether it’s telling yourself that you will finish this workout, last five minutes in the cold, or stay away from sugar this week, the mind is capable of a lot. Most importantly, it’s capable of moving you past the threshold of pain into the arena of choice. Your mind offers you freedom by granting you access to a world of potentiality, one few people know exists. But it has to be trained; it cannot only be subject to the soft world we live in.

Harden your mind by doing difficult things. You will be better because of it.

A Question about Death (featured on Aubrey Marcus Podcast with Alex Banayan)

A few months ago, Alex Banayan, author of the New York Times’ Best Seller The Third Door, tweeted that him and Aubrey Marcus were gonna do Q&A during their podcast together. Naturally, I was thinking about death a lot that day, so I tweeted them the following question:

Aubrey, you’ve talked a lot about “knowing” what the other side is like because you’ve been there on medicine journeys. This seems to have almost obliterated your fear of death. But fearing death and overcoming that fear seem to be a deep, unifying part of the human experience…

Many believe that having an understanding—and even a fear—of death can ignite a sense of urgency, leading you to live a more fulfilling life. To what extent is fearing death a good thing and and when does it get in the way? Thanks for all you do

@lemmanucci

Well, Alex and Aubrey talked about my question. They introduced me, said my name, and even hyped me up, saying “You know him. You love him. Give it up for Aaron Lemma!” It brought so much joy to my being.

It was a heavy question and it took a while to unpack it—about 50 minutes. This was the longest Aubrey Marcus Podcast to date, and my question helped to fuel that. I am so grateful to Aubrey and Alex for answering my question with such deep insight and wisdom, all while remaining students of this confusing game called life.

This experience reminded me to be curious and ask my questions without fear of judgement or embarrassment. I really gained a lot from this discussion about death and I can’t even imagine how many thousands or millions of others did too. All because I tweeted my genuine curiosity.

Here’s the link to the YooTube video of the podcast: AMP #229. Check out 50:40 and 1:40:20 for my name drop. This window encompasses the entire discussion about death. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. If you prefer to listen, check out Aubrey Marcus Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

Strength in Surrender

It’s common to view the act of surrender as a sign of weakness, as quitting. From Tom & Jerry episodes to Braveheart, we’ve come to believe the white flag means failure. Nobody trying to be strong can accept surrender as an option, or so we’ve been told.

Imagine you’re driving on the highway and somebody cuts you off. The natural response is rage–what they did was dangerous and could’ve gotten people hurt. There’s two responses in this scenario: chase him down and try to cut him off, or choose to continue driving safely, letting the unsafe driver pass. Which is stronger here? Is it the response that will make you seem more alpha? Or is it the one that goes against our instincts, the one that’s harder and less glamorous?

Surrender requires strength. Saying it’s difficult to allow the world to unfold before you is an understatement. But this isn’t a passive pursuit; it requires changing your inner state, something each one of us struggles with daily.

The choice is yours. I will choose the more difficult path, because struggling through challenges is the only way to grow.

Make Sure You’re Happy

When making important decisions in life, remember to ask yourself, “Will this make me happy?” It’s amazing how often this is overlooked. Many make decisions based solely on theoretical deliberation and reason, not their instincts, desires, and preferences. But happiness is more important than making sense. It’s more than making decisions based on the allure of having more money, possessions, or fame. As a collective we have to start holding happiness to a higher standard when making important decisions, for instance, choosing a career path.

If thinking about it doesn’t make you happy, don’t start. If you already started, you should quit. Today.

This life is too rich to not be lived, enjoyed, cherished, and beholden. It’s too long to fake happiness for your family and friends. You’re going to want to actually be happy, so make sure you ask yourself if you are.

10 seconds

I was on a run today with 3 teammates. During the run we had to stop at a few traffic lights. We also took a couple breaks to stretch out some tight hips, shins, and backs. As we were passing by a nearby park, we decided to turn left onto the quieter, more scenic road instead of heading towards the busy room that always has traffic.

Theres a hill immediately after turning left. We ran up the hill and stopped at the top to stretch out again. This time, instead of staying in one spot and stretching, we stretched as we walked. We started running when we hit the stop sign. 10 seconds later, we heard the crash coming from behind us.

We turned around to see that a massive tree had fallen across the street, landing right where we had stopped. Relief mixed with worry as we wondered if anybody got hit. We ran back to check and, luckily, nobody had been walking, driving, or parked in the impact zone. The tree was in a fenced in yard and had broken the fence. The woman to whom the tree belonged came out and was thankful nobody got hurt (or worse). She said the tree was 85 years old and 19 feet in circumference.

If we had stopped and stretched for a little longer… If we had ran a little slower… If we had left the gym a little later…

The four of us ran home pretty shook. We looked up the whole way, making sure no other trees were close to falling. We were 10 seconds away from disaster. Wind, gravity, and old age were 10 seconds away from removing us from our bodies. 10 seconds.

I’ll be unpacking this experience a little more over the next few days and weeks. I believe this incident happened for a reason, that I was where I was for a purpose. What I know now is that “Hake Hey. Today is a Good Day to Die” certainly means a lot more to me now than it ever did before.

Your Mission Statement

What is your mission statement? Why are you here? What are you here to do?

What is the next step you must take?

Back to the Basics

When embarking on a journey towards better health and more vibrant wellness, you must remember to keep things simple.

If the basics are not the cornerstone of your endeavor, you’ll soon find yourself overwhelmed. When things are too complicated and you can’t commit to all the changes you held yourself too, you’ll feel defeated. You’ll stop progress altogether because if you’re not all in you’re not getting the most benefit, right? Instead, your complicated plan shortly becomes too much to bear and you remain the same, still holding that extra 20 pounds, still gasping for breath after going up the stairs.

Let me take a moment to remind you of the basics, the bare necessities of living a healthy, balanced life. This doesn’t include a food scale or calorie counting, and there’s no need for a fancy fitness program.

The Basics:

  • Eat plants and animals
  • Avoid processed foods
  • Cook your own meals
  • Eat until you feel full
  • Pack your lunch
  • Find healthy snacks that don’t have too many simple sugars
  • Drink filtered water
  • Steer clear of sugar-sweetened beverages
  • Don’t have caffeine past 2pm
  • Move your body every day
  • Go for a walk
  • Run, lift weights, or go to a yoga class if you want to
  • Get 7-9 hours of sleep each night, depending on your own needs
  • Limit your screen time, especially at night
  • Take deep breaths
  • Spend time with your loved ones
  • Spend time with yourself
  • Allow yourself to laugh
  • If you slip up, forgive yourself and get back on track

If you implement these lifestyle practices, things will start to change. You’ll feel more energized and less lethargic. You’ll need less coffee and have more time to spend with your loved ones. Once you start, the momentum will keep you going. That cupcake you have in celebration of a good week won’t feel like a defeat but a victory. Small victories will compound and you’ll soon be miles ahead of where you started

It’s all about balance. If 80% of the things you do are healthy and 20% aren’t the best for you, you’re living a pretty balanced, enjoyable life. Forgive yourself if you slip up and move forward with a grateful heart. This is all about learning and growing.

I’m telling you, if you get back to the basics, things will change.

How Not to Worry

Before I give away my secrets, I need you to know that I’ve had a lot of stressful, worrisome situations in the first 22 years of my life. I’ve worked in a fast paced restaurant and endured 14 hour days working on the golf course. I’ve studied hours for Organic Chemistry exams and submitted more papers one minute before their deadlines than I can count. I race other human beings around a track and have felt the pressure of wanting to perform well for my team, my coach, and myself. I started a business as a full time student-athlete-RA-tutor-catechist while still doing my best to make time for my girlfriend and family.

Stress, pressure, existential crises, nervous breakdowns, deep sadness…I’ve felt it all. I’ve lived it. But now things are different. When a challenge or obstacle is in my way, I remind myself of two things that help me reframe my situation and put things in perspective.

Here’s my 1 – 2 punch for stopping worry before it enters my being:

  1. Remember how much you’ve accomplished. You’ve made it through a lot to get here. You can handle this. You got this.
  2. You’re going to die. One day, you stop breathing and your days as a human being will be over. Whatever you’re up against surely counts, but doesn’t matter. This life is too short to be take so seriously.

There’s one final step, but it’s less of a mindset shift and more of a practicality. It’s to write down everything you have to do, prioritize what must be done first, and then execute. This helps me every time, no matter the situation. Worry turns into initiative and you can begin chipping away at the obstacles, winning small victories along the way. Action beats anxiety.

But that’s it. That’s the whole story. It’s about self confidence—you will accomplish the tasks at hand because you always accomplish the tasks at hand. And it’s about not taking this life too seriously. After all, we should be enjoying our existence, not dreading it.

Today I had to wake up at 5:30 am to lift. Today I was set to squat more than I’ve ever squatted before across 5 sets. I did it. Then I had to study for 2 hours before a test I didn’t yet study for. I studied, took the test, and aced it (hopefully). Then I had to study an hour for another test I didn’t prepare for. I studied. I did well. Then I had to go on a long run. I decided to go with the distance crowd for 7.5 miles. I did it. And I didn’t worry for a second.

This method doesn’t remove stressful situations. You will still have things to worry about, but it’s your decision to worry or to take meaningful action to accomplish your mission. I hope this perspective helps you choose the latter.

Your Body

Have you ever though about what your skull looks like? What about your small intestine? Have you considered that your heart is keeping you alive, but you’ll never see it working? Don’t forget your brain—how it sends neural impulses at speeds of 150 miles per hour…and how we can send humans into outer space but we don’t fully understand how it works.

Some scientists tell us we have around 37 trillion cells in our body. That number is almost unbelievable. Not only that, but each of those 37 trillion cells has a purpose. Cells work with their neighboring cells to make up tissues, and different tissues work together to form complex communication and support systems throughout the body. This leads to an organism.

Trillions of things have to happen for you to read this post right now. The fact that you can read is preposterous. Most of us take these things for granted. Really, we are living miracles made up of particles. Maybe treating one another as miracles would be a good step forward.

Improvise

Tonight in my Perspectives in Leadership class the Improv Team came and lead us through some improv games. We learned how to think differently, how to set people up for success, and how to understand that others probably don’t see situations the way we do. It was an interesting and meaningful tie-in with leadership.

One perspective shared was “life is improv.” This means two things: that we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously and that we should allow ourselves to fail. I like this perspective. Being serious is a trap. It sucks the joy out of life. Instead, we should play more and be grateful for our falls, scraped knees, and dirty hands. This world is our playground and we should treat it as such (so long as we clean up after ourselves).

In Matthew 18:3, Jesus says: “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” And in Luke 17:21, Jesus says: “…nor will they say ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ For behold, the kingdom of heaven is in your midst.”

So the kingdom of heaven is in my midst. That means it’s here. And I can’t enter the kingdom unless I become like a child—more open, not so serious, and innocent. This means if I become like a child and play more, I can experience the kingdom of heaven here, now.

Time to stop being so serious.