“Don’t worry”

Saying this never helps. It’s like saying, “don’t drown,” to a drowning person. At least, that’s what it feels like.

There’s a lot of variations. Somebody might quote the bible or tell a story about their friend. Though they come from care, they’re mostly insufficient.

Here’s my $0.02: don’t tell people to stop worrying. Instead, let them worry. Be by there side as they worry, and soon they will realize that worrying doesn’t help much.

If you get frustrated at somebody who says, “don’t worry,” have empathy for them. They want to help, but they didn’t know any better. They’re not a professional lifeguard; they’re doing their best, just like you.

Patience. Presence. Forgiveness. Empathy. Compassion. Repeat. We’re all doing our best to heal.

Year of the Blog

A lot happened in 2019. I started a lot of projects, embarked on some adventures, and learned many valuable lessons. I spent a lot of time thinking about the future with my girlfriend and begging new hobbies along the way. Together, her and I started a podcast, no small feat, and began flipping things on eBay. Flow Training released it’s first training program, Reimagined. I went from injured athlete to Captain in track.

2020 will bring even more challenges and changes. My track career will be ending in May. I’ll be graduating. Decisions about life after college will be made. Flow Training will grow from 400 followers to…many more. We will make an impact. And I want to blog every day to document it. For real this time.

What can you expect from me this year? More commitment to the things I love. More authenticity and less gimmicky fitness motivation. A little deeper view of my life through Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn, and Twitter. All of these things for one reason: because I want to.

Cheers to 2020.

My Most Patient Self

I’ve been working on being more patient lately. I’m trying to practice patience when I’m driving, interacting with loved ones, and sitting in class. It’s really a whole-systems approach, and I’ve been attacking it by addressing my core wound of always wanting to be in control. I have good days and bad days, but overall I’ve seen improvement.

I went to visit my Grandpa today. He is 88 and living in an assisted living facility. He was a soldier during peacetime in WWII and a math teacher for years in Goshen, New York. Now, he has Parkinson’s. It’s hard for him to get words out sometimes, but he’s still sharp as a tack. I have to give him time to get his words out when he’s talking, and though I still have trouble understanding him from time-to-time, giving him the space to speak helps him out.

This situation forces me to give up control, be patient, and listen instead of talk. Awkward silences are not only the price of admission but welcome, for it is only by silence that Grandpa can get his point across. Camille came with me to visit him today. On the ride home, she told me she’s never seen a more patient version of me than when I’m with my Grandpa. That made me take a step back.

Patience can manifest in many forms, but it’s always here, always accessible, and always beneficial. I want to be My Most Patient Self every day, not just when I visit my Grandpa. This is my patient ideal. What’s yours?

Be Honest

This Thursday was a long day. After lift and practice in the morning, I spent every spare moment studying for an anatomy practical on muscles (just about every muscle in the body). During the 3 hour lab, I took the muscles test. Afterwords, my instructor said we could take the sheep brain practical, too. This entailed naming 40 parts of the sheep brain from memory. I went for it and completed both practicals.

I called Camille after lab. We made plans to hangout, maybe share some food. It would have to be quick because she was hanging out with her friends at 7:00pm. This means I would have to postpone my dinner at home to eat some snacks with Camille. Against my longings, I went to spend time with her.

I should have been honest with myself and what I needed. It wasn’t long before I began an argument—I was in no place to interact with somebody after being tired and having no substantial food in me. We split for the night upset with each other, all because I was too fixated on making others happy as I neglected taking care of myself.

Be honest with yourself and what you need. If you need a night to yourself, take it. Time spent filling your cup will allow you to give 100% to your relationships. Know your triggers (being hungry) and do everything possible to mitigate them so your loved ones don’t get hurt.