Going All In

My senior track season hasn’t been off to the start I hoped. I’ve been doing all the training, hitting all the times, eating right, getting enough sleep, and doing extra stretching, but it’s not working. I’m once again running times I ran in high school. What’s worse, if I ran a fast time right now I would be surprised, when fast times are supposed to be expected.

There’s good news to all this: I’ve been training since May (May of 2016, to be more accurate). I’m in great shape. I have a tremendous body of work under my feet, and that’s not going away any time soon. I just need some fine tuning, some speed work, some extra drills, some hardening of my body and my mind. That means extra hours, extra lifts, extra stretching, the list goes on. That means deep meditations, focussed recovery sessions, and more room for sleep than school work. None of that will come easy.

I’m going to have to start really pushing myself, but pushing without the fear of getting injured or burning out. Those two fears have paralyzed me up to this point in my track career: I don’t want to over work and get hurt again, and I don’t want to overwork and burn out again. With all due respect, fuck that. I’m ready to actually chase my goals, to get my mind right, and to push myself to the brink of exhaustion each day to reach my goals. I’m ready for early mornings and 3 lifts a week. I’m ready to work so hard that those desired times are expected each time I toe the line.

Never a surprise.

What’s the worst case scenario of giving these next three months my absolute best? I get injured or I burn out and I never run another good race. I let my team and myself down. I feel regret for not having done more.

Guess what: I already feel that. If I get injured or burn out because of this pursuit, I can recover in May. Then at least I will know it wasn’t meant to be. There is literally nothing to lose.

This is battle cry. I will not back down. I will fight until the very end. This is all part of the story.

Hoka fucking hey!