The Catholic Shadow
If the Catholic Church doesn’t start to reflect, recognize, accept, and begin to integrate its shadow, the faith will be irrelevant in 50 years. Enough Augustine and Aquinas–we need Jung.
If you want freedom
Get better at liberating. To liberate is to let go of what is no longer serving you. Most people hold onto the things they hate about themselves. But when you release those things, when you express them to another human in some way, they no longer have power over you. This is where true freedom lives.
Bob said it best: “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind.” That’s a rallying cry to take back control of your life through breaking down the prison doors of our minds. Those doors are made of trauma, but they’re made of glass. They shatter if you start to chip away.
If you want freedom, you have to break down walls that cast shadows over your life. Your life will begin when you realize your biggest fear isn’t anything to be afraid of.
The approval trap
Becoming the person you want to be requires awareness. It’s helpful to know where you get your strength and what motivates you, but exposing your shadows is necessary. One of my shadows is seeking other people’s approval. I call it the approval trap.
I have these heroes I look up to, people like Gary Vaynerchuck and Aubrey Marcus and Seth Godin and Paul Chek and Elliott Hulse and Nahko and In-Q. Recently I’ve found myself reaching out to these people, seeking their approval for my life. Their approval feels like oxygen, like they’re what’s keeping my alive when I’m otherwise drowning.
And I’ve been noticed. Aubrey answered one of my questions on a podcast, with a response that took 45 minutes (here’s my post about it). Paul Chek answered my DM. Elliott sent me an autograph and recently responded to my comment. Just this week, Gary shouted out my comment in Tea with Gary Vee.
These moments make me feel excited and noticed. But that’s because I’ve been seeking their approval. I want them to tell me how great I’m doing with their advice and how loyal I am to them. I want their validation because it makes me feel whole. And worthy.
But it’s a trap and I know it. I don’t need their approval to live my best life. Having them notice me may get me through the day, but it’s never enduring satisfaction. It’s not fulfilling.
What’s fulfilling is moving towards my dreams of making a positive change in the world. I feel whole when I share a meal with my family or squeeze my girlfriend’s hand on a walk. Lasting happiness for me is when my will and God’s will are united in a cosmic tango and love is moving through me.
When my head hits the pillow and I know I did my best, that’s what matters. Not what my heroes say or don’t say to me.
The approval trap is alluring but empty. It can play out in many aspects of your life. If you don’t want to get caught, pay attention to the shadow behind your back.